Heading Home
May 2nd, 2011 Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »Rebekah here with some concluding thoughts…
Nathan and I just completed our last week of service at the BMC for this trip. We have safely landed in Accra, and we will spend just a few nights exploring the coast before we head back to “the real world” Friday. This will be an important time for us to discuss our trip—the experience and all of the emotions. Really, we were encouraged to use this time to debrief between each other. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we travel.
A new team arrived this week with three EM physicians from UCLA. They brought new energy and enthusiasm to the work. Although we were sad to say goodbye to the previous attendings who were here from WVU, we have enjoyed the way our experiences changed based on the personalities of each group of people as many have come and gone through the four weeks. We are feeling bittersweet about our own departure. Emotionally and physically we are feeling empty and tired. On the other hand, there is still so much work to be done and such a need here that it is difficult to just walk away and out of the lives we have met this month. One of my new girlfriend here said it best, “It just feels unfinished.”
This last week has been similar to those before it.
We had some catching up to do after the Easter holiday. Out patient clinic was actually closed for Good Friday and Easter Monday, so Wednesday we were slammed in clinic. I never heard a final count but I have to guess something like 400 patients may have come through the clinic that day. I felt buried under the mountain of charts that kept re-accumulating after we would make a small dent in it. At some point I almost put my head down—feeling defeated—but then a thought crossed my mind. Many of these patients had traveled for many miles and perhaps even days. They were traveling to see ME —the white woman from America who they call doctor even though I am technically still a student—the same young women who so many of my patients at home call nurse and become frustrated with when I am the one has to ask the same questions of them as the real doctor and repeat the exam and who often doesn’t have the answers to their difficult questions…these patients at the BMC that day that were represented by the mountain of charts, they were spending their day to come see ME. They believed I could help. They trusted the advice I gave. They accepted the diagnosis. And then, they lowered their eyes and thanked me.
One more story and then I will try to make some good point.
I admitted a woman with a traumatic brain injury. She was an older woman who was hit in the head by a piece of corrugated metal roofing. She lost consciousness immediately and had not woken up when I evaluated her about 5 hours later. TBI is something I have been really interested in from a research standpoint, but it is not something one wants to encounter in the developing world. First, there is no effective imaging modality to evaluate the injury. Second, there is really no effective intervention available—actually even at home treatment options are limited. So I had to have yet another difficult discussion with her family. At this point in the month I had become somewhat accustomed to a statement that goes something like, “You family member has a very serious injury. There is no way we can estimate the extent of the injury other than to evaluate her clinically and as you can see she is in critical condition. We cannot predict what the outcome will be, but we have done everything that we can here. We will try to make her comfortable. Even as doctors, we can provide some medicine or some treatment, but we have to trust that it is still God who heals. At this point we can pray for her.” I frequently reevaluated this patient, and one day her son confided in me, “Doctor, we are praying for my mother. We are also praying for you that God would give you success in treating her. We know you taking care of her. Thank you.”
I was not prepared for that.
I have actually said similar prayers for the doctors taking care of my friends and family. “Lord, please guide their hands, give them wisdom, help them not to make an error.” Now I was the doctor being prayed for? And thanked, although I had done very little for this woman. About five days later, she went home—oriented, following commands, and moving all four extremities. I can honestly say that felt like witnessing a miracle. I did not expect that outcome either.
So, what’s my point that you’ve been waiting for? I guess it’s just that I feel like a little, tiny, under skilled, semi-equipped, not-smart-enough-make-a-big-difference girl from a humble home in a tiny town in the Midwest of America. But this month, for these people, I was different. I am just this little lump of brown clay and God made it something beautiful this month that I could have never imaged or done on my own. And I can say for certain that I will never be the same because of it.
I’ve told some of you before, that I often feel as though the journey to become a physician was out of my control. Over the past nine years, I feel that I have just been holding on (with all my strength and might) along for a difficult ride that I don’t remember consciously choosing. My mom says that she believes God gives us dreams—and that she thinks God gave me this dream to become a doctor. And while I often feel inadequate, she reminds me of that as we have prayed before every exam, important challenge, or after a difficult day. Nathan and I have been reading this book called, The Hole in Our Gospel. On one page there was a quote, “God doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called.” So back to my point, at the end of four weeks and too many stories to relay, I think we may have an answer the question of why this simple country girl is about to graduate from medical school. I think we have answer to the question—how was your trip to Africa? I hope you can read those answers between the lines of our stories here.
My good friend Jane says, “Medical school changes you.” I’ve always known that she is correct. These past four years for us have taught us so much about life, death, and health. We’ve learned about physiology, anatomy, and pathology. But, I propose more importantly, we have delivered new fresh little babies into the world, we have sat and watched as lives have ended just as quickly. We have witnessed the effects of physical abuse, substance abuse, poverty, and racism. We have taken care of VIPs and people who think they should be considered VIPs. We have taken care of the marginalized in our society and abroad. We are about to complete this step in our journey and graduate from medical school. Nathan and I want to thank you for reading and sharing this month with us. We know that some of the stories and some of our emotions are difficult to hear and may be difficult to try to understand or relate to. Specifically, Aliu’s story really touched us. It was one such experience that will have a lasting impression on our life as physicians and as people. We hoped it touched you too. Thank you for the words of encouragement. Thank you for listening to our adventure and sharing in our heart ache.
The question we cannot yet answer…what will the future hold for us after this experience? I don’t think that Nathan or I are ready to answer that. Will we come back to Ghana? Will we come back to Africa? What more can we do, and what can we now from our home during residency? Will there be another place to serve? Would there be a better way to support this hospital, the workers, and the patients here? Will we travel for a shorter or longer time period? Would some of you be willing to come along next time? These are questions on our mind now as we prepare to head back home. We will try to keep you updated as the answers become more clear.
Thank you again for your love and support!
Signing off from Ghana,
Nathan and Rebekah








