Tune My Heart

February 24th, 2019 by Shannon

“Come thou fount of every blessing, 

Tune my heart to sing thy grace.

Streams of mercy never ceasing 

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet, 

Sung by flaming tongues above,

Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,

Mount of thy redeeming love”

    ~Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, Robert Robinson

There have been lizards…in my kitchen. Now I’m really not on of those squeamish girly girls (As proof I held a snake in a grass hut in India just last week after all the men chickened out) But I still feel strongly that reptiles don’t belong with my food or in my luggage. And I’m just waiting to find one there.

There’s a large crack in the middle of the bedroom floor that leads to a strange unnatural hole in the wood that seems exactly what something would crawl out of in the middle of the night. 

No one really speaks great English, except the one doctor. Most conversations involve a constant decision between saying “I’m sorry what?” for the 10th time or trying to get away with a hopefully appropriate smile and head nod. Getting meals, especially edible ones, has been much more of a challenge than I anticipated. The first day at the hospital, there were four inpatients and one ER patient and I wondered what in the world I was going to do with myself for two weeks. I felt lonely and was tempted to think I was going to be wasting my time

After spending my last post convincing you of all the wonderful reasons to serve internationally, it might sound like I’m contradicting myself. But realistically there are challenges you face.  There are language barriers, isolation, and uncomfortable situations – mentally and physically. 

Inpatient Ward

But as I write out my list and you read it, we all realize none of these things are a really a big deal – unless we let them be. Ask my team from India what the word of the trip was and they’ll all tell you “flexibility!” (Or tourism, there was a little confusion as I reiterated frequently that we were just tourists!) You can’t travel to the other side of the world and expect things to be the same.

Life is not the photoshopped version we post on social media and other countries are not the sterilized exotic photos we see on National Geographic. Real life is messy and scary and dirty. And that’s why like the old hymn so wisely and beautifully states we have to allow God to tune our hearts to see His goodness and sing His praise. Just like a piano or guitar our heart doesn’t stay in key. Our minds and hearts tend to dwell on the negative, but if your going to enjoy an international experience you can’t stay focused there. You have to choose to be flexible and look on the bright side.

Day one I wasn’t so sure how this was going to go. Day two I remembered that I know how to adapt to a cross cultural experience, I just had to choose to do so. I started asking lots of questions, trying to say words I didn’t know, and laughing at myself with the locals. If you want to connect with people, even if you can’t speak with them, just join in what they’re doing. The more you don’t know how to do it or say it, the more they love that you tried! Everyone appreciates the effort of someone trying to meet them where they’re at. 

With the right attitude, the unknown becomes an adventure. The things that seem the worst in the moment often make for the best stories and laughter later on! The second day, instead of sitting in my apartment, I asked about getting coffee nearby and wondered down the street with unclear directions. I soon found myself in an adorable outdoor cafe that has now become my afternoon ritual for delicious Thai iced tea. Afterwards, I made my way to the mini-mart found a Sprite, bug spray, and something to plug up that that unnerving hole in my bedroom. I had a coffee shop,  bug spray, and sun shine – what more could a girl need!  

There’s a kindness, hospitality, and sweet spirit so inherent in the Thai people it practically seeps through their pores. I can hardly go a few hours without someone bringing me a special snack or treat. Often a snack or treat I’m concerned will end with me well… Uhh…spending a day in the bathroom but a heartfelt gift nonetheless. The meager donation of supplies that I could fit in my suitcase was so little I was almost embarrassed to present it and yet was met with overwhelming gratitude far outweighing the gift.

After a simple question about what things there were to see nearby, I was treated to an entire evening including a sunset boat ride to see ancient temples, dinner on the lake, and walk through the night market. Dinner was delicious – including the fried fish stomach. Ok, the fish stomach was maybe not so delicious but an experience for sure. I could have freaked out and not eaten it but seriously –  it’s fried. What’s it going to taste like? Well everything else that’s fried of course. And now I can say I’ve eaten fried fish stomach – totally worth it. It’s all about perspective. Whether you call it Delhi Belly, the Turkey Trots, or Montezuma’s Revenge stomach issues are often just part of the deal. You take all the precautions you can and bring lots of Pepto-bismol. It will all come out ok in the end!

The hospital is a bit slower paced than I’m used to, to put it mildly. But it has given me an opportunity to witness and remember what it’s like to focus on the patient in front of you. By continuously asking questions and showing humility in my desire to help and learn I’ve found new ways to make myself useful and to grow. From simple things like refreshing my IV insertion skills, something I never have time for in the US, to skills I’ve been waiting years to learn like performing an OB ultrasound. And speaking of adaptability, we managed a trauma patient without a single CT scan. Currently  we are caring for a patient who overdosed on a dangerous cocktail of medications, homemade rum, and diesel fuel without much of what what I would consider basic necessary laboratory tests and equipment. It is impressive to watch the doctor take it all in stride using a complex knowledge of the resources he does have and skills I threw out years ago in favor of expensive tests. Intermittently, I contribute from my experience and knowledge gained working at university hospitals in close connection with skilled specialists and together we make a good team. 

A good attitude, adaptability, and a spirit of adventure are deal breakers when it comes to cross cultural experience. All of us who learned medicine learned to deal with failure and and correction. Without that humility; without being willing to try a new procedure, answer a difficult question on rounds, or approach a patient differently the next time; you will never become a good practitioner. But with those qualities in hand, you have exactly what it takes be a good cross culture learner. If we shy away from difficulty and failure, we’ll miss most of the things worth doing in life.

Life comes with circumstances a whole lot harder than a lizard in your kitchen, and it tends to get our hearts out of tune. But whatever our life circumstances, we have a God who is worthy of a song in our hearts. And when we sing His praise, we gradually find our hearts getting back in key where we can see the joy in the sorrow, the light in the darkness, and take a look at the brighter side. Yesterday, as I visited the Buddhist temples and witnessed the offering of vain sacrifices to unseeing eyes and unhearing ears of stone, I was both heartbroken and thankful. Heartbroken over a religion literally seeking nothingingness as one’s greatest achievement. Thankful to be reminded of just what a blessing it is to know Jesus, that is Emmanuel – the God who is with us and became flesh to save us.

Psalms 16:4-11 says,

“4The sorrows of those who have bartered for another god will be multiplied; 

I shall not pour out their drink offerings of blood, 

Nor will I take their names upon my lips.  

5The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; 

You support my lot.  

6The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; 

Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.  

7I will bless the Lord who has counseled me; 

Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night.  

8I have set the Lord continually before me; 

Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  

9Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; 

My flesh also will dwell securely.  

10For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol; 

Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.  

11You will make known to me the path of life; 

In Your presence is fullness of joy; 

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

We may not bow down to a statue but we do wallow in sorrow when we barter for other gods and make idols out of all the wrong things. As Christ followers, we alway have a reason to rejoice because we serve a God who brings goodness out of all of life’s difficult circumstances if we make Him our focus and priority. Glory to our God who delights in giving us the immeasurable pleasure of His presence wherever we go! His beauty is always around us, we just have to choose to see it.

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